More people than you might be thinking are struggling with
dating. Meanwhile, dating is a key skill that you should strive to become good
How do you do that? Well, it all comes down to experience. To give you a little headstart though, we want to share with you 30 adult dating in UK tips that you should know about. The tips below could be useful for either men or women.
30 Adult Dating Tips to Know About
Let’s quickly get into Shagbook’s 30 adult dating tips for UK. Surprise alert, though this is a guide for adult dating in UK, this can be applied to pretty much anywhere.
1. Play the field
There are plenty of people out there for you, so you
shouldn?t jump on the first girl/guy that you seem to like a little bit. Don?t
push things ? date a little so that you gain some experience and find exactly
what you want. Finding a good relationship is somewhat about chance, and to be
able to make use of that chance, you need to play the field.
2. Carefully choose the place
Where you are meeting with your date can make or break the
dating experience. Make sure to choose the dating spot carefully.
You don?t need anything over-the-top. No need to have the
date at an expensive restaurant ? instead, you should go to a familiar place
where you feel comfortable.
Avoid going to a new place unless your date is the one who
offered it. If you pick a new spot and it turns out to be subpar, your
partner?s experience won?t be smooth. And depending on what kind of personality
your date is, picking a bad spot may be enough for them to get disinterested in
3. Meet in public
No matter what dating spot you choose, you may want to
select a place with plenty of people. If you and your date don?t know each
other well, then your partner may feel uncomfortable in a too private setting.
Don?t rush things since you may make your partner feel awkward.
4. Look your best
Make sure to look your best. This tip applies more to men
since women are usually pickier about the details in their appearance.
Ensure that your hair isn?t a mess, shave or trim your facial
hair, clip your nails, and don?t wear a shirt that you haven?t washed for a
week. When someone gets to know you at those early stages, little details
matter a lot.
5. Make a good first impression
Making a good first impression is key, and while looking
good is part of it, there are many other things to keep in mind.
Overall, be a gentleman/lady and make sure that your manners
are spot-on. The first impression isn?t necessarily right, but it?s
long-lasting, and if your date doesn?t like you on the first date, your chances
of anything past the date will drop down to nearly zero.
6. Be confident, but don?t be a jerk
They say that men should be confident. And that?s indeed
true, but some people ? especially those inexperienced ? may confuse confidence
with being a jerk.
A confident man (or woman for that matter) doesn?t have to
be an asshole who disregards everything. Rather, a confident person knows what
they want and have the guts to do what it takes to get what they want.
Confidence is about balance ? you should be gentle enough
not to be a jerk, but you should also be strict enough not to be a wimp. This
will probably come to you with experience, so you should play the field ? as
mentioned above ? to gain some.
7. Be yourself
Don?t try to be someone you are not. Even if the person in
front of you likes other kinds of people, don?t pretend that you are one of
Most likely, your date will notice that you are faking it.
Not only that, if you don?t be yourself, you will be dealing with the wrong
kind of people.
Instead, make sure to be clear about who you are. Some
people won?t like it, but you won?t waste any time at least. And most
importantly, by being who you are, you will get close to people who are
compatible with you.
8. Talk about yourself
How can your date find out what kind of a person you are?
Well, you need to talk about yourself.
Don?t just tell where you were born or where you?ve studied.
You should, of course, introduce yourself if you haven?t already done so, but
don?t turn your date into a dry recital of your biography.
Instead, talk about your passions, the challenges you?ve encountered,
what your plans on the future are. Add a little bit of emotion in the talk, get
your date interested, encourage them to tell about themselves in return, and
follow the flow of the conversation.
9. Be ready to listen
Being a good listener is a thing that many people are
incapable of. It?s crucial in many areas of our lives, and dating is no
If you aren?t a good listener, then you may do things like interrupting
your date to say your own thing because you can?t stand others talking, or you
may just miss most of the things they are saying. And if your date senses that
you aren?t interested, then they aren?t going to be too eager to share anything
Let your date talk, try to understand what they are saying, provide
your own input, and you will show that you care and that you are a good
10. Turn your phone off
Your date has probably spent a good amount of time and
effort getting ready for the meeting. And it would be disrespectful if you were
paying your most attention to anything other than them.
Your phone is likely to be the biggest distraction for you.
Just turn it off to remove it from the equation ? if you are worried about
urgent calls, well, you should let everyone know beforehand that you will be
busy on the day of the date.
If you don?t want to cut yourself off from the world, then set
the phone to its silent mode. But do not let unimportant notifications distract
11. Take your time
Feelings that develop too soon usually burn out soon. Don?t
rush it if you are looking for a good relationship ? if you haven?t known your
partner for some time, there will still be a lot to find out, both good and
bad. Don?t allow things to go wild until you are sure that it won?t be in vain.
12. Keep things fun
Even if your date is super into you, they will get bored
very quickly if you?re too serious. You need to have the ability to be serious
when required, but your first or second date perhaps isn?t the right time for
Try to keep your conversation as fun as possible ? women
like having fun. With that being said, you may want to balance the funny with the
serious. Otherwise, your date might think that you are frivolous.
13. Don?t worry too much
It may be the very first date in your life, but you
shouldn?t allow it to make you worry. Plenty of things could go wrong. Don?t
worry about it too much and be yourself ? if the date is the right kind of
person for you, they won?t judge you for silly mistakes.
With that being said, if you are making serious mistakes ?
like showing up late for 30 minutes ? then you will probably seem like an
irresponsible person. Well, if you fail your date like this, then you have to
work on yourself.
14. Don?t be a perfectionist
You shouldn?t worry too much about your mistakes, and you
likewise shouldn?t become a picky douchebag and pay attention to every little
mistake your date makes.
With that being said, don?t ignore serious issues. However,
you need to be able to distinguish between little things that do not matter and
true red flags. Well, this comes with experience, and you only need to hope
that you have enough to make the right calls.
15. Listen to your intuition
No matter how flaming your feelings are for your date, you
should listen to your intuition if anything seems off.
If you don?t feel comfortable around your date, think twice
about having a relationship. Your intuition likely is right. You may go out a
couple of times with your partner to see how things go, but if the intuition
persists, perhaps it?s best to let the date go.
16. Keep your feelings in check
It?s no secret that our brains can stop working when near
someone we have feelings for. With experience, you learn to control yourself,
but those who are relatively new to the dating thing may have problems with
No matter how big butterflies your date gives you, you
shouldn?t run head-first into what your feelings tell you. Be calm and
collected so that you don?t make silly mistakes and so that you can evaluate
your date objectively.
17. Connect daily
Ensure to communicate with your date before and after the
meeting. You don?t have to chat with them for hours ? even short daily communication
will strengthen your relationship.
There is a balance to communication though, as it is with
many other things. Don?t text or phone your partner all day ? leave some
personal space and time for them so that they can do what they need to. The
contrary is also true ? don?t limit your communication to just one or two times
18. Don?t be stuck in the past
You have to be extremely lucky to avoid failed dates and
relationships. With that being said, you should not allow the negative past
experience to overwhelm you and interfere with what you are trying to achieve
You?ve learned on your mistakes, and your new date is a new
chance for you. Your mistakes do not matter unless you force them into the
meeting. Your confidence may drop, or you may suddenly rant about your ex
(which is a no-no topic for the first few dates) if you let your past interfere.
19. Learn to handle rejection
If a girl has agreed to go on a date with you, then it?s
likely that it will work between you. But there still is a possibility of
things going wrong.
Your date may find that you aren?t really their type of
person. Then, they may want to end the date a bit early or reject a proposal to
Well, you need to be ready for rejections. And when it
happens, take it calmly, thank your partner for the great date, and part ways.
Don?t take anything personally ? early rejections often
happen due to superficial reasons. Maybe
your date prefers taller guys, or maybe she didn?t like how chatty you were. If
people are unable to overcome such small details, then be glad that it was an
But if you?ve made some mistakes, well, it?s too late to fix
them. Go on and learn from experience.
20. Don?t be pressured by milestones
Some people think that sex should happen on the third date,
while others may think that a kiss is a must on the first date. These are
milestones that you should not be pressurized by. Everyone is different, and it
may happen that your date has other views on intimacy.
The best bet is to go with the flow of events. If you are
experienced enough, then you will know when and what to do. If not, then you
will need to try ? if you make a mistake, you?ll know better next time.
21. Believe people?s actions rather than words
The first impression is important, but you won?t know what
kind of a person your date is on the first few meetings. And if you really want
to find out, then you should pay attention to how their actions correspond with
what they say.
Your date may say that people don?t respect each other
enough, but they may talk rudely to a waiter a few seconds later. This is a
rough example, but it shows that it is a red flag when people?s claims and
actions don?t match.
22. Be careful if your date? beliefs differ from yours
People can be of various beliefs or political viewpoints,
and it?s likely that your date doesn?t share your mindset. This doesn?t really
mean anything until you know your partner better, but it means that you need to
be careful on the first couple of dates.
Don?t speak about religion or politics with your date ? if
your views are vastly different, your conversation may grow into a debate. Will
this be a positive experience for you both? Probably not.
Even if you and your date have different opinions, this
doesn?t mean that things won?t work. It may work, but if both of you have
drastically different viewpoints and cannot compromise with each other, then you
shouldn?t try to change your partner. It won?t happen. Better leave them if you
can?t compromise with each other.
23. Listen to your friends and family
No matter how ideal your date seems to you, make sure to
carefully listen to what your friends and family have to say.
Remember, your judgment may be impaired by romantic
feelings. Others? judgment won?t, and they may be able to give you a more
objective opinion about your date.
If your friends or family don?t like your date, then keep
that in mind and look out for signals that would confirm their suspicions. You
should decide yourself whether to date someone or have a relationship with
them, but do not ignore what others have to say.
24. Don?t pursue to be in a relationship
Some people jump from one relationship into another without
having a break. Not only that, some people may want to have a relationship so
badly that they don?t care who their pair is ? they just feel obliged to be in
Well, know that you don?t have to be in a relationship all
the time. Don?t rush it even if you are 20 years old and have never had
something more or less serious. Relationships that are maintained just for the
sake of it don?t have value ? on the contrary, they may even bring you
headaches. Be in a relationship only if there is someone who you could
potentially build something great with.
25. Focus on yourself
Instead of pursuing a relationship, focus on yourself. Work
on your career goals, study, go to the gym ? do anything that makes you happy
and helps you go forward.
Don?t live for others, live for yourself. And the chances
are that along your path, you will find someone who you could build a serious
Remember that you aren?t the only one who works hard in
their field ? you will meet many people who share interests with you. And from
among those people, it?s very likely that you will find someone.
26. Don?t let anyone mistreat you
On the first date, your primary goal is to make a good first
impression and show your good sides. And once you go into a relationship, you
will want to work hard to make your other half happy.
Well, be ready to give a lot to others, but know that you
should be getting an equivalent amount of effort. You shouldn?t expect
anything, but it would be fair if you received your share of care and
Don?t let anyone mistreat you ? others should respect you no
less than you respect them. As mentioned above, you want to make your partner
happy, but definitely not at the cost of your self-esteem.
With that being said, don?t place too harsh requirements on
your partner. As with many things, you need to find a balance. And the sense of
balance will again come from experience.
27. Be with someone who makes you happy
A poor relationship may make you feel good because you are
fulfilling your ?obligation? to be with someone, but it definitely isn?t the
best thing to put the effort in in the long term.
Don?t ever stick with someone who doesn?t make you happy. Do
not get yourself trapped in a bad relationship because it?s too comfortable for
you to leave. Nor think that it?s your only chance and that you won?t be able
to find another pair for you.
If you don?t feel happy with your other half, then we
suggest that you don?t wait and talk about it with them. If you can?t get the
issue resolved together, well, it?s probably time for you to put the
relationship to its end.
28. Be with someone who you can have fun with
Your first date should be fun, and the fun should be able to
survive through your relationship.
Even if someone has the same views as you, they may not be
the perfect person. If they are too boring for you or don?t share your hobbies,
then you will probably have a hard time having a fun relationship with them.
29. Know that you are good enough
Never think that your date is out of your league. It?s not
about leagues ? it?s about how closely your personality matches to the
personality of your partner.
Know that you are good enough for others. This doesn?t mean
that you shouldn?t strive to become better. Rather, it means that you are you
and that there is no need to change for someone just to get their attention.
Also, be sure that others will respect you more if you have
the gut to advocate your views and positions. And they sure as hell won?t
respect you if you try to be someone who you are not.
30. If someone?s perfect, they may not be perfect for you
Finally, know that if someone?s perfect, they might not be
the perfect match for you.
If your date doesn?t smoke or drink, is successful at their job, finds time to study for a master?s degree, – in other words, is spot-on ? they won?t necessarily be the right person for you. We?ve roughly described who would be perfect for you ? someone who makes you happy and who you can have fun with. Other things don?t matter as much and we will end our adult dating UK guide with that one.