More people than you might be thinking are struggling with dating. Meanwhile, dating is a key skill that you should strive to become good at.
How do you do that? Well, it all comes down to experience. To give you a little headstart though, we want to share with you 30 adult dating in UK tips that you should know about. The tips below could be useful for either men or women.
30 Adult Dating Tips to Know About
Let’s quickly get into Shagbook’s 30 adult dating tips for UK. Surprise alert, though this is a guide for adult dating in UK, this can be applied to pretty much anywhere.
1. Play the field
There are plenty of people out there for you, so you shouldn’t jump on the first girl/guy that you seem to like a little bit. Don’t push things – date a little so that you gain some experience and find exactly what you want. Finding a good relationship is somewhat about chance, and to be able to make use of that chance, you need to play the field.
2. Carefully choose the place
Where you are meeting with your date can make or break the dating experience. Make sure to choose the dating spot carefully.
You don’t need anything over-the-top. No need to have the date at an expensive restaurant – instead, you should go to a familiar place where you feel comfortable.
Avoid going to a new place unless your date is the one who offered it. If you pick a new spot and it turns out to be subpar, your partner’s experience won’t be smooth. And depending on what kind of personality your date is, picking a bad spot may be enough for them to get disinterested in you.
3. Meet in public
No matter what dating spot you choose, you may want to select a place with plenty of people. If you and your date don’t know each other well, then your partner may feel uncomfortable in a too private setting. Don’t rush things since you may make your partner feel awkward.
4. Look your best
Make sure to look your best. This tip applies more to men since women are usually pickier about the details in their appearance.
Ensure that your hair isn’t a mess, shave or trim your facial hair, clip your nails, and don’t wear a shirt that you haven’t washed for a week. When someone gets to know you at those early stages, little details matter a lot.
5. Make a good first impression
Making a good first impression is key, and while looking good is part of it, there are many other things to keep in mind.
Overall, be a gentleman/lady and make sure that your manners are spot-on. The first impression isn’t necessarily right, but it’s long-lasting, and if your date doesn’t like you on the first date, your chances of anything past the date will drop down to nearly zero.
6. Be confident, but don’t be a jerk
They say that men should be confident. And that’s indeed true, but some people – especially those inexperienced – may confuse confidence with being a jerk.
A confident man (or woman for that matter) doesn’t have to be an asshole who disregards everything. Rather, a confident person knows what they want and have the guts to do what it takes to get what they want.
Confidence is about balance – you should be gentle enough not to be a jerk, but you should also be strict enough not to be a wimp. This will probably come to you with experience, so you should play the field – as mentioned above – to gain some.
7. Be yourself
Don’t try to be someone you are not. Even if the person in front of you likes other kinds of people, don’t pretend that you are one of them.
Most likely, your date will notice that you are faking it. Not only that, if you don’t be yourself, you will be dealing with the wrong kind of people.
Instead, make sure to be clear about who you are. Some people won’t like it, but you won’t waste any time at least. And most importantly, by being who you are, you will get close to people who are compatible with you.
8. Talk about yourself
How can your date find out what kind of a person you are? Well, you need to talk about yourself.
Don’t just tell where you were born or where you’ve studied. You should, of course, introduce yourself if you haven’t already done so, but don’t turn your date into a dry recital of your biography.
Instead, talk about your passions, the challenges you’ve encountered, what your plans on the future are. Add a little bit of emotion in the talk, get your date interested, encourage them to tell about themselves in return, and follow the flow of the conversation.
9. Be ready to listen
Being a good listener is a thing that many people are incapable of. It’s crucial in many areas of our lives, and dating is no exception.
If you aren’t a good listener, then you may do things like interrupting your date to say your own thing because you can’t stand others talking, or you may just miss most of the things they are saying. And if your date senses that you aren’t interested, then they aren’t going to be too eager to share anything with you.
Let your date talk, try to understand what they are saying, provide your own input, and you will show that you care and that you are a good listener.
10. Turn your phone off
Your date has probably spent a good amount of time and effort getting ready for the meeting. And it would be disrespectful if you were paying your most attention to anything other than them.
Your phone is likely to be the biggest distraction for you. Just turn it off to remove it from the equation – if you are worried about urgent calls, well, you should let everyone know beforehand that you will be busy on the day of the date.
If you don’t want to cut yourself off from the world, then set the phone to its silent mode. But do not let unimportant notifications distract you.
11. Take your time
Feelings that develop too soon usually burn out soon. Don’t rush it if you are looking for a good relationship – if you haven’t known your partner for some time, there will still be a lot to find out, both good and bad. Don’t allow things to go wild until you are sure that it won’t be in vain.
12. Keep things fun
Even if your date is super into you, they will get bored very quickly if you’re too serious. You need to have the ability to be serious when required, but your first or second date perhaps isn’t the right time for it.
Try to keep your conversation as fun as possible – women like having fun. With that being said, you may want to balance the funny with the serious. Otherwise, your date might think that you are frivolous.
13. Don’t worry too much
It may be the very first date in your life, but you shouldn’t allow it to make you worry. Plenty of things could go wrong. Don’t worry about it too much and be yourself – if the date is the right kind of person for you, they won’t judge you for silly mistakes.
With that being said, if you are making serious mistakes – like showing up late for 30 minutes – then you will probably seem like an irresponsible person. Well, if you fail your date like this, then you have to work on yourself.
14. Don’t be a perfectionist
You shouldn’t worry too much about your mistakes, and you likewise shouldn’t become a picky douchebag and pay attention to every little mistake your date makes.
With that being said, don’t ignore serious issues. However, you need to be able to distinguish between little things that do not matter and true red flags. Well, this comes with experience, and you only need to hope that you have enough to make the right calls.
15. Listen to your intuition
No matter how flaming your feelings are for your date, you should listen to your intuition if anything seems off.
If you don’t feel comfortable around your date, think twice about having a relationship. Your intuition likely is right. You may go out a couple of times with your partner to see how things go, but if the intuition persists, perhaps it’s best to let the date go.
16. Keep your feelings in check
It’s no secret that our brains can stop working when near someone we have feelings for. With experience, you learn to control yourself, but those who are relatively new to the dating thing may have problems with this.
No matter how big butterflies your date gives you, you shouldn’t run head-first into what your feelings tell you. Be calm and collected so that you don’t make silly mistakes and so that you can evaluate your date objectively.
17. Connect daily
Ensure to communicate with your date before and after the meeting. You don’t have to chat with them for hours – even short daily communication will strengthen your relationship.
There is a balance to communication though, as it is with many other things. Don’t text or phone your partner all day – leave some personal space and time for them so that they can do what they need to. The contrary is also true – don’t limit your communication to just one or two times a week.
18. Don’t be stuck in the past
You have to be extremely lucky to avoid failed dates and relationships. With that being said, you should not allow the negative past experience to overwhelm you and interfere with what you are trying to achieve now.
You’ve learned on your mistakes, and your new date is a new chance for you. Your mistakes do not matter unless you force them into the meeting. Your confidence may drop, or you may suddenly rant about your ex (which is a no-no topic for the first few dates) if you let your past interfere.
19. Learn to handle rejection
If a girl has agreed to go on a date with you, then it’s likely that it will work between you. But there still is a possibility of things going wrong.
Your date may find that you aren’t really their type of person. Then, they may want to end the date a bit early or reject a proposal to meet again.
Well, you need to be ready for rejections. And when it happens, take it calmly, thank your partner for the great date, and part ways.
Don’t take anything personally – early rejections often happen due to superficial reasons. Maybe your date prefers taller guys, or maybe she didn’t like how chatty you were. If people are unable to overcome such small details, then be glad that it was an early rejection.
But if you’ve made some mistakes, well, it’s too late to fix them. Go on and learn from experience.
20. Don’t be pressured by milestones
Some people think that sex should happen on the third date, while others may think that a kiss is a must on the first date. These are milestones that you should not be pressurized by. Everyone is different, and it may happen that your date has other views on intimacy.
The best bet is to go with the flow of events. If you are experienced enough, then you will know when and what to do. If not, then you will need to try – if you make a mistake, you’ll know better next time.
21. Believe people’s actions rather than words
The first impression is important, but you won’t know what kind of a person your date is on the first few meetings. And if you really want to find out, then you should pay attention to how their actions correspond with what they say.
Your date may say that people don’t respect each other enough, but they may talk rudely to a waiter a few seconds later. This is a rough example, but it shows that it is a red flag when people’s claims and actions don’t match.
22. Be careful if your date’ beliefs differ from yours
People can be of various beliefs or political viewpoints, and it’s likely that your date doesn’t share your mindset. This doesn’t really mean anything until you know your partner better, but it means that you need to be careful on the first couple of dates.
Don’t speak about religion or politics with your date – if your views are vastly different, your conversation may grow into a debate. Will this be a positive experience for you both? Probably not.
Even if you and your date have different opinions, this doesn’t mean that things won’t work. It may work, but if both of you have drastically different viewpoints and cannot compromise with each other, then you shouldn’t try to change your partner. It won’t happen. Better leave them if you can’t compromise with each other.
23. Listen to your friends and family
No matter how ideal your date seems to you, make sure to carefully listen to what your friends and family have to say.
Remember, your judgment may be impaired by romantic feelings. Others’ judgment won’t, and they may be able to give you a more objective opinion about your date.
If your friends or family don’t like your date, then keep that in mind and look out for signals that would confirm their suspicions. You should decide yourself whether to date someone or have a relationship with them, but do not ignore what others have to say.
24. Don’t pursue to be in a relationship
Some people jump from one relationship into another without having a break. Not only that, some people may want to have a relationship so badly that they don’t care who their pair is – they just feel obliged to be in a relationship.
Well, know that you don’t have to be in a relationship all the time. Don’t rush it even if you are 20 years old and have never had something more or less serious. Relationships that are maintained just for the sake of it don’t have value – on the contrary, they may even bring you headaches. Be in a relationship only if there is someone who you could potentially build something great with.
25. Focus on yourself
Instead of pursuing a relationship, focus on yourself. Work on your career goals, study, go to the gym – do anything that makes you happy and helps you go forward.
Don’t live for others, live for yourself. And the chances are that along your path, you will find someone who you could build a serious relationship with.
Remember that you aren’t the only one who works hard in their field – you will meet many people who share interests with you. And from among those people, it’s very likely that you will find someone.
26. Don’t let anyone mistreat you
On the first date, your primary goal is to make a good first impression and show your good sides. And once you go into a relationship, you will want to work hard to make your other half happy.
Well, be ready to give a lot to others, but know that you should be getting an equivalent amount of effort. You shouldn’t expect anything, but it would be fair if you received your share of care and attention.
Don’t let anyone mistreat you – others should respect you no less than you respect them. As mentioned above, you want to make your partner happy, but definitely not at the cost of your self-esteem.
With that being said, don’t place too harsh requirements on your partner. As with many things, you need to find a balance. And the sense of balance will again come from experience.
27. Be with someone who makes you happy
A poor relationship may make you feel good because you are fulfilling your “obligation” to be with someone, but it definitely isn’t the best thing to put the effort in in the long term.
Don’t ever stick with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Do not get yourself trapped in a bad relationship because it’s too comfortable for you to leave. Nor think that it’s your only chance and that you won’t be able to find another pair for you.
If you don’t feel happy with your other half, then we suggest that you don’t wait and talk about it with them. If you can’t get the issue resolved together, well, it’s probably time for you to put the relationship to its end.
28. Be with someone who you can have fun with
Your first date should be fun, and the fun should be able to survive through your relationship.
Even if someone has the same views as you, they may not be the perfect person. If they are too boring for you or don’t share your hobbies, then you will probably have a hard time having a fun relationship with them.
29. Know that you are good enough
Never think that your date is out of your league. It’s not about leagues – it’s about how closely your personality matches to the personality of your partner.
Know that you are good enough for others. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t strive to become better. Rather, it means that you are you and that there is no need to change for someone just to get their attention.
Also, be sure that others will respect you more if you have the gut to advocate your views and positions. And they sure as hell won’t respect you if you try to be someone who you are not.
30. If someone’s perfect, they may not be perfect for you
Finally, know that if someone’s perfect, they might not be the perfect match for you.
If your date doesn’t smoke or drink, is successful at their job, finds time to study for a master’s degree, – in other words, is spot-on – they won’t necessarily be the right person for you. We’ve roughly described who would be perfect for you – someone who makes you happy and who you can have fun with. Other things don’t matter as much and we will end our adult dating UK guide with that one.
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